Place either TEXT, VOICEMAIL, or CALL in the subject line. Texts [pictures OK] and voicemails are preferred to be in first-person and are generally a better way to reach Kakuzu, since he's off doing God-knows-what half the time and might not be there to pick up.

Message:

"It's fucking voicemail. If you can't figure that shit out, just hang up the phone right now. You should already know who the fuck you're calling."

Random note: Kakuzu has had the same message on his phone for three years.

I fucking gave myself bronchitis. I've been sick as shit and the goddamn landlord keeps buzzing to tell me to keep it down. Motherfucker doesn't understand that I can't.

Hidan, get me some goddamn soup or stop calling. I can't listen to your bullshit over the phone right now.

Haku...I'll get you another time.

Hidan.

Want to go on some fucking rollercoasters this weekend?

...Fuck.

( Private | Unhackable )

Fuckin' A. It doesn't get much better than free food and fucktonne of sex.

Now all I need is a new motherfucking car.

My apartment smells like stale shit and pizza boxes. There's no fucking view either, unless you count that old hag who walks around topless at night.

Fucking job- I don't rim. Not for those prices. Get your ass out of my face faster next time.

Don't know what the fuck I'm doing with a journal.